You work out of a Hotel?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
