that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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