My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
