As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
