Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
