dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Randomize
