I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
