my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize