If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize