wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
