What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
