She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
