OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
