gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
