he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
