She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
