yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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