It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
