i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
