Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
