It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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