i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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