So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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