I just cut my nipple shaving
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
