I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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