and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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