considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I just had sex on a roof
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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