I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
