Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
