idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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