I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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