i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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