i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
