First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
