i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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