He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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