actually, I'm a sock model
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
