the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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