Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Alive.
So much puke
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
