Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
