What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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