good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
my nose is crying tears of wow.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
