ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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