he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
