Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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