dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Boobs speak an international language.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
