Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
