I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Randomize
