I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
