can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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