There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
