I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
