There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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